Friday 30 October 2009

We'll always be children playing with matches
senseless to the dangers
naive to our emotions
I ache in thoughts
I wither in my perception
things to come, time to leave?

Shadows and echoes down this corridor
memories and dreams encased in glass
my face
my reflection
my judgement
this shiny layer prevails before me
lying
so deceitful
convincing me that I remain as cold
as hard
as the portrait before me.

I close my eyes
I feel you beside me
I know you
I know you believe in me
even if its just for now
I am loved.

Keep striking matches
we will walk through this fire
together we may not be burned.

Wednesday 28 October 2009

There is fear in my heart, fear that my faith may not be strong enough.

I do not doubt Him, I doubt myself.

These giants, these seas, these storms, are they not already defeated, parted, calmed?


Remember our prayers of yesterday, may we continue praying for those sick, for those against us, for those whose eyes have yet to be opened, for those whose ears have yet to hear, for those whose mouths have yet to speak, for those whose hearts have yet to be forgiven.

Monday 26 October 2009

I should know Your voice by now, surely I should know Your expectations for me, the thoughts and plans You have for me? But what is this life for me? To waste time on the mediocre and enjoyable, will I regret my life as I age or will I never realised how important all this is until my time has come. If this life is that important then why do I forsake hours of my day and laze in the absence of doing. Dwell in my mind and not in my body, stay in places of thought not of reality. What should I be doing with me?
I will go on loving, I will go on doing, I will go on seeking Your voice throughout the crowds, throughout this audience with the judgments and the jeering. I will follow you, I will for I have to, for I have nothing without You. When all is done I want to be with You, I don't know how I will, but I will. For You will guide me through this valley, You will be with me and You will always be my salvation.

Friday 16 October 2009

Your hands play the strings of my heart,
chords and sweet melodies,
that make my whole body sway in your gentle embrace.
Our bodies barely touching,
our lips do not brush,
not even the lingering hint of a kiss in this soft step.
My soul wraps itself within yours,
I lose myself further in your eyes,
With certainty I give my heart to you barely beating,
for you already took my breath away.
This romance so sweet,
this song so beautiful,
that it may play for all futures.
I loved you since I first heard your voice,
for if God made a perfect man for me
then I find him in you.
Place your dreams with mine,
build within my imagination
for the stars shall watch us grow together,
in this our melody,
our hope His glory,
for grace shall raise us up to take us into tomorrow.

I can taste this mystery,
sensing this excitement,
imagining if this can be.
Shall it turn out only an illusion to be shattered?
A fairytale given over to falsehood?
Betrayal?
Will you be my prince charming,
or reveal yourself a wolf in disguise?
I count the petals fall from roses,
a timeless trick, surpassing this enchantment.
I close my eyes to sleep a thousand years,
only to drift my mind to you.
These thoughts secure here in my dwelling,
these moments fade to memories.
This heart is sealed
with a hope my soul cannot fathom.
Till I may sleep soundly by your side,
this is my lullaby,

an echo through eternity,
for true loves kiss,

an answer to my prayers,
to long for more than a fairytale,
for love that is not bitter,
for romance that cannot die.

Wednesday 14 October 2009

My life is small and fragile, merely a droplet of time in the ocean of existence, and sometimes I feel lost, sometimes I feel small and so insignificant, sometimes I feel I may drown here. Then I remember that this ocean is but a raindrop in His hand, secure and still, timeless...
My being here was not an afterthought, an accident or some twist of fate of this I am certain.
My life, my future, my everything is in Him...this assurance sings me to sleep.

Tuesday 13 October 2009

A thousand words erupt from my core, racing around my mind, pouring out ink on paper. Notes lay crumpled and torn on the floor, these pages and books scrawled with echos. Dancing in memories, drifting through dreams, my lucid lullaby. I'm caught up in this, feeling that faith is raw, that it will never be easy. Trusting love to lead me fearless into eternity, this is not serendipity, this splinters convention, this is when I pray for my ways to disintegrate, for His to transpire, for grace to crack my conceptions, to shatter my illusions, to break every barrier and fill me with such love that it pours out of me in every action, in every handshake, in every smile and every tear.

I will trust in you,
I will fail,
I will live for you and I shall fail,
for the rest of my life I will search for a way not to fail you,
in this I will fail,
but you will go on loving me,
for you always love me,
without fail.


Monday 12 October 2009

I cannot even begin to explain myself, my existence, my thoughts, my feelings...there will never be enough words to convey this love that I feel within life. I love, therefore I am. My words may be meaningless, they would never withstand a test of time, a test of fire, they are not divine, they are not humble, but surely they are my words.

Judgments are made with closed eyes, I haven't had long enough to know myself, I have no idea where to begin with thoughts of me, my life, my truth, my aspirations, if I really knew myself I might be afraid. I feel that maybe I should fear, none of us know our potential, surely we only fall in the shadows between our actions and our recollections of whom we have been and ideals of who we'd like to become, if I look only at me then I may never arrive at the correct destination, I'm staring into mirrors, trying to catch a glimpse of God in me.

I saw Him in you, shining and I had to know the man that showed His eyes. The weaknesses in me were tearing at your skin and I tried to make you tumble and fall, til you didn't resemble Him. Stronger than I imagined, in time your hand reached for mine and I knew, for I felt it, what love could be, that someone could stop my mind from reeling, stop my feet from falling and just love me, constantly and achingly, run after me and never tire.

...they are not divine, they are not humble, but surely they are my words.